Posted by: Mojo Jojo | February 15, 2005

When I went `bump in the night’

It was a hard day’s night and I was as sleepy as a log (not to mention as hungry as a hog) and I really wanted to get back home to my cozy little bed… and well, the leftovers kept in the refrigerator.
Dame luck had been positively grinning at me throughout my office hours and I had made a reasonable cute little page for the newspaper I work for … the News Editor had complimented me (for once) and all was well with the world.
I had no idea what a bitch the stupid dame could be sometimes. Coz that’s what lady luck is. Smiling like Pocahontas one moment and smirking demonically the other.
So I jumped on my trusty ol’ horse (that’s my cute li’l motorcycle) and took off through the streets.
It was 2:00 am in the morning (that’s when my office lets me out), there was a cool night wind blowing across town (well, mine’s actually a city .. but town reads better. heh) and I was in lovely spirits. And as usual, there was a good ol’ tune reverberating in my head (think it was Lucille, Cant remember) and I was positively feeling like Superman.
I pumped up on the gas and my bike purred satisfactorily in return. Wow. And like the wind I flew, beyond all cares, sorrows and whatever else plagues ’em poor mortals.
There were no policemen around, no jaywalkers to make me ease my pace … and no Shain behind me to yell: HEY HEY … YOU GONNA GET US KILLED, YOU MANIAC!
I closed my eyes, feeling the wind beat against my face … the ground rip by under me …
Something had to bring me back to earth. It sure did, and how!
It was a barricade; something that the idiot traffic cops in my city keep on the middle of the road to slow regular speeding dolts and kill the more drunk ones.
I did not notice it until it was too late. And too late was just about three seconds before I took a shot at Davey Jones’ locker. The barricade was a long iron piece of wrought iron, about five feet in length and four in height. It was a dirty yellow in colour and there were large letters in blood red painted on it: PLEASE GO SLOW. SPEED KILLS.
Nice advice. Right. But I got it quite late in the hour, you must admit.
I hit the barricade with a dull thud and for a moment, everything went blank … and then I could feel myself flying.
Flying, yeah. But not the way I wanted to. I was superman for about five seconds, until I found myself hitting the ground with a muffled splat.
Amd there was my dear ol’ horsie …. scraping away from me at fifty miles an hour, lighting its trail with sparks.
The world was spinning around me. The stars were not shining that bright anymore, the cold air seemed more annoying than romantic…. and the barrier was slowly tilting – losing its balance… and about to fall on me.
With the last of my energy I jumped out of the way and the dumb piece of scrap metal came crashing down … right where I had landed.
Reality took some time to dawn. Ask my friends, I m slow (and they kinda remind me about it all the time) but on that very occasion I was acting like I had finally lost my noodle. I crawled my way to the side of the road and squatted like a dummy, looking desolately at my poor ol’ vehicle – tough boy that it was, brought to the ground by a discoloured piece of metal and an idiot who mistook himself for Kal-El.
A couple of cars whizzed by, scarcely interested in whatever circussy stuff I seemed to be putting up.
Finally, I found my bearings and pulled my bike back to its feet. A large dent featured on its left side and paint had peeled off from quite a few places. Me? Even my bruises had bruises.
Tamely, I sat on it. The engine purred back to life and the headlights came on.
It was alive. Wounded, maybe … but alive, nevertheless.
I mouthed a silent prayer to God and started off into the night again.
A lot slower this time, though.

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Responses

  1. he he he… nice post πŸ™‚
    it really sux meeting with an accident, especally when nobody comes forward to help πŸ™‚

    by the way, which papers are u working for?

  2. Speed kills? In your case “Speed Kills” kills.

  3. ” I told you so…” heheh..glad to know that you are alive man..hope the barricade was not hurt too much though..we want to let others have the same fun as you had too, dont we???

    take care jimbo..i need someone to host me in Chennai..

    Shain

  4. ROTFLMAO!!!!

    Oh my goodness… this is hilarious! Look at the bright side-there was no Shain to tell you “i told you so” the moment you escaped being killed by your own trusty ol’ steed, no cops to haul you away for speeding, no cars running you over while you lay there sprawled on the road, and you also got to FLY!!! Hell even your steed was still alive… πŸ˜‰

    Get well soon and drive a lil carefully! :))

  5. Yeah, it sucks. But I m real glad no cop came to help me up and later, award me with a nice little ticket.
    Guess, lady luck ain’t all that bad, actually πŸ™‚
    I m a sub-editor with the Indian Express, Chennai.

  6. Ha ha… yeah, Animesh. I vote
    they better stop blocking roads with stupid `speed kills’ signs. Anyone with me? πŸ™‚

  7. Righto, Shain. But I don’t trust myself not to go bang myself on one of these barricades again … so I say, down with `em!
    Sure, I ll stay alive to play host, man. But it better be before I do the `Chalo Dilli’ this April πŸ˜‰

  8. Garfy! LOng time no SEa!
    Mebbe you’re rite … but then, lookit this way: if Shain was there he would have backseat driven me to the safer side of the road long before I could go bump in the night.
    And even if we had gone n bashed it together, I guess Shain would have been too busy picking his bones to say “ I told you so!” πŸ˜‰
    Ole, Shain

  9. nice post…i just loved your writin style…

  10. Hey Jimbo..Are u sure ur chalo dilli-ing in April???

    Currently listening to Green Eyes by Coldplay buddy..reminds me of a certain green eyed female we saw on tv:-)

  11. Thanx man, Aberrant. Hope I could post stuff more often, though.

  12. Which green-eyed lady did we see on TV? The russian one? Man, refresh my memory.
    Btw, I m listening to Vertical Horizon’s `Angel without Wings’ – and its reminding me of the only angel without wings dat I can think of …

  13. Hi hope u r better now n didnt get hurt badly? but next time u plan to do nething “circusy” please inform me i havent seen the circus for a long long time now πŸ˜› neways u take care n get ok soon πŸ™‚

  14. Sub-Ed? Cool!!!!!
    didn’t know i was corresponding with a journalist all this time!
    hope u didnt publish any of the stuff i said! πŸ˜€
    i miss chennai…

  15. Anz … sure. I ll let u know. Except that over here you would be seeing a clown doin all the acrobatics. Heh.
    I m doing fine. With the Grace of Swami Orma Ben Shallah Ali’s second cousin’s husband.

  16. No, I did not publish any of your stuff. Heh. Try stalking Aishwarya Rai or someone, so I can get a chance.
    You were in Chennai? When? Did u drop by MCC? COz that was where I studied.

  17. Jimmy!!! I am so glad you are ok!! I was in a terrible, terrible accident when I was 19 (roughly 1 million years ago) and I was no where near as fortunate as you….as I read your post I got more and more worried….until it dawned on my overly thick skull that you would not have been able to post a word if you weren’t at least a little bit ok.

    Glad you are ok…and your steed too…mine wasn’t so lucky. In fact the whole thing was U shaped, if you could have gotten it running…it would only go in circles…LOL

  18. hi jimmy..late as this comment is, tuff luck that you had to have an accident, but then i guess it’s good that your bike didn’t suffer too much na? you better take care..in dilli shahar you won’t be able to fly thru the air and escape so unharmed! that’s a privilege that we have here in good ol chennai..you’ll miss it when you leave here!

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