Posted by: Mojo Jojo | November 24, 2006

Oh, Horrors: Part II

Way back, when I was just a child of ten, I would have starved for horror cinema if not for the Ramsay brothers. And the Zee Horror Show, whatever people think about it, proved to be my only hope of sustenance in an otherwise insipid life.
Well, you would say … the show was terrible! Couldn’t agree with you more, but back then I did not even know who Freddy Krueger was. I still remember looking forward to Friday night throughout the week, waiting for the silver screen to burst into creepy blue and the words ‘Shyam and Tulsi Ramsay present..’ sail across it.
Now, all the Zee Horror episodes hinged on one universal storyline, which generally went like this: Geeta (Names change. Different episodes would have different girls with different names — but all are essentially stupid) is a pretty, happy-go-lucky village girl. But then, on the other side of the village live three men who, though quite strong, have a few weaknesses — one of which is ‘nice’ country women who wear embroidered skirts and hop-skip-n-jump around the paddy fields all night.
So there, Rosie gets manhandled and murdered. The third night after the crime, she returns with sharper fangs and longer fingernails. A few YAAARGHs, AAAAAHs, NAAAAHHHIIIIs and BACHAAAAOs later, justice is served and the lady’s spirit is free to leave.
Of course, there were a few I liked, but back then I was too naive to know that they were direct lifts from classic Hollywood flicks. For instance, take Dahshat — an episode which has this guy discover that his new neighbour is actually a bloodthirsty vampire. The truth, however, dawned on me only last year, when I descended upon Fright Night while searching for something to watch on the idiot box.
But, well, I still liked Dahshat better — maybe because the vampire in the copy was a lady, and a stunning one at that. (Check this one out, Everyman!)
Then there was Taveez, which was quite an uninspiring copy of The Monkey Bone (the short story; not the stupid Brendan Fraser-starrer), but considering that I did not know that such a tale even existed, I loved it.
Well, anyways… enough of the desi stuff.
Another Hollywood horror I really liked was Frailty, starring Matthew McConaughey. Now, this was more a psychological thriller than an actual one with gargoyles and vampires romping around — but — the very premise of the movie, which had this ‘God-fearing’ dad trying to make his two kids help him chop off people’s heads, was quite chilling. Very chilling, indeed. Once the movie was done, switching off the lights and trying to get some sleep proved to be quite a tough task.
At this point, I must tell you about an alleged horror flick I saw yesterday — Alien vs Predator. It was only through sheer willpower that I managed to watch it till the very end and everytime I tried sparing myself the misery, my mind went back to the time when Everyman sat through two hours of American Cyborg-Steel Warrior and then wrote an entire post on it. If he could, I could too. And I had some booze to help me through it.
The acting, I must say, was terrible. Especially that of the Afro-American actress, who seemed to have a more dead-pan expression than her Predator companion (with his iron helmet on, of course), and, for that matter, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
And yes, the storyline was crap too.
Now, coming back to good ones in the genre, I particularly liked Dawn of the Dead and Night of the Living Dead. Maybe because I got some kind of a soft spot for zombies.
Zombies aren’t wicked, they don’t plot — for heaven’s sake… they don’t think either, because whatever’s left of their grey matter is pure rot. No, all they want is their fundamental right to food — which lies under your skin. Lovable creatures, aren’t they?
The following are my favourite horror movies. The first two I may have already mentioned … here are the rest.
1. The Sixth Sense
2. Psycho
4. Dawn of the Dead
5. Invasion of the Body Snatchers
6. Misery
7. The Shining
8. The Omen (Not the new one — EWW!)
9. The Exorcism of Emily Rose
10. Hour of the Wolf

P.S. I wanted to mention a movie called Dead End in my post, but took pity on ol’ Nandhu — bless his dear soul.

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Responses

  1. nice one JJ.. i havent seen invasion of body snatchers and misery..maybe i should check it out. and would u say shining was horror? maybe i would say its more of a psych thriller…..but great movie..i also liked hide and seek.. not too scary, but psychologically confusing till the last shot.

  2. Invasion of the body snatchers is nice. Misery is damn good too, but again, you might think it does not fit in the horror genre, like The Shining.
    Hide and Seek i liked okay, especially Dakota Fanning, but then, I kinda guessed it was robert de niro all along.

  3. awesome list of movies…some of my favorites in there.but if u love gore , hostel is a good view..

  4. Yeah, ‘Hostel’ was kinda gory but I did not quite enjoy it much. Not much of a storyline … and for some reason I thought it was a Quentin Tarantino movie, so I went in with a lot of expectations…

  5. Is sixth sense horror? I am tooo scared of these movies / shows, but,I liked Sixth Sense..

    Thanks for visiting!

  6. You don’t think it’s horror? Precisely what I was discussing in my last post 🙂

  7. da, only u wuld rent alien vs predator. as only u wuld rent dead end. are these even movies jimmy? sheesh!

    and divyan, hide and seek was pathetic. similar movies: The Window with Johnny Depp. u keep thinking it’s the other guy, but it’s depp all along. and then What Lies Beneath. same thing. ford and michelle pfeiffer are in a cabin. we keep thinking it’s pfeiffer, but it’s ford. but at least pfeiffer is sexy in that red dress.
    Jimmy, dakota fanning made a career out of screaming. what are u doing liking her now?

  8. Nandhu boi! Give us losers a chance…
    Heh. But you gotta watch bad movies too, for that balance in life. And as you would know, reviewing a lousy movie is much more fun than reviewing good ones.

  9. Hey!! Alien vs Predator isnt horror!!! Ok its horror if you get around to wondering what wd become of your brains once you sit thur 2 hours of things walking around in metal plated armour and faces that look more like a warhog..Not to mention the gooey aliens..

    I quite liked it actually..and i liked american cyborg too! So there!


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