Posted by: Mojo Jojo | July 28, 2007

The day of the dog

Twelve-year-old Jonah looked ill at ease. The Math teacher peered through his gold-rimmed glasses and asked the only question he could under the circumstances: “Jonah, why didn’t you do your homework?”
The boy fidgeted, then – with a stony expression – said, “I’m sorry, Professor Jenkins… the dog ate my homework.”
The classroom tittered gleefully.
Jenkins was taken aback. He had been heard too many lies in his lifetime, but never one like this.
“Jonah… if you HAVE to give an excuse, could you at least take the effort to give a slightly plausible one. This one is so old!”
But the boy just kept staring at him, as if he was actually speaking the truth. Which made Jenkins want to pinch himself and wake up to a tasty cup of morning coffee.
“You are joking, aren’t you?” he asked the kid. But he just shook his head.
I don’t have to take this, thought Jenkins. But because he regarded himself as one of the kinder teachers around, he did not want to give Jones the spanking he deserved. “Okay son, you win. But make sure you get it done tomorrow.”
The boy just nodded his head.


“Jonah, why didn’t you do your homework?”
The boy still had the same stony-faced expression. “I’m sorry, Professor Jenkins. The dog ate my homework again.”
Jenkins lost his temper. “Boy! I can’t take this anymore. Tomorrow you bring your homework… or your parents! Or, for God’s sake, think up another excuse!”
Jonah just nodded. Which made the teacher angrier, and he shouted: “REMEMBER! TOMORROW I NEED THE HOMEWORK – OR YOUR PARENTS!”
The boy nodded again.


Jonah brought his parents to school. Something that Jenkins hadn’t expected.
The father was a man in his thirties, characterised by an ugly mustache and an even uglier tie. The mom was oldish; Jenkins suspected she might be at least fifteen years older than her husband. “Ah.. certainly a fitting reason for that pathetic creature’s existence,” thought the teacher unkindly.
It was the father who spoke up. “So mister Jenkins, Jonah said you wanted to speak to us.”
Jenkins cleared his throat noisily, then looked at the boy. His face was still in stone mode.
“Well, mister and missus White… your son has put me in a very peculiar position. For the last few days, he hasn’t being doing his homework. Instead, he prefers to give excuses that are obviously quite – well – false.”
“Really?” the father said, turning his angry eyes towards Jonah, “The little bastard! Just wait till he gets home and I ll show him what. He needs a whipping real bad, he does.”
The mother, who was powdering her face till now, seemed to find this funny. “Ha ha, my husband can do as he wish. But he sure know where the kid learnt his lying from.”
Mr White turned towards her. “And what exactly did you mean by that, lady?”
The lady resumed powdering her face, which was now adorned by a particularly detestful smirk. “Nothing, my dear,” she hissed, “I am just suggesting that Jonah must be learning them from that young lady you always go to in the evenings.”
Mr White shouted something really offensive at her, and she screamed back. And Jenkins started feeling really left out.
He buried his face in his hands.


Jenkins woke up that morning with Jonah on his mind. “That ass of a kid won’t bring his homework today either. And I don’t expect that conversation with his stupid mom and pop to have helped much,” the teacher said angrily.
Like it or not, there was only one thing he could do about it. And as the teacher hopped into his pants and made a pretense of brushing his teeth, he thought: “Oh, I hate that kid and his stupid dog… damn them. Grr, I’m gonna eat both of them…”
Then he scurried out of the house. The bath would have to wait till tomorrow.

There… he could see Jonah coming out his house with a notebook in his hand. The brat’s getting to the pavement now, the teacher observed, even as he pushed his lean body a little more into the bush he was hiding in. Nothing seemed to be happening.
Jonah turned a corner and … suddenly, he slowed his pace. Curious, thought the teacher, coming out of his hiding place for a closer look.
It was a dog. A small scruffy mongrel sitting on the side of the pavement. And it seemed to be growling under its breath.
Weird, thought Jenkins. He watched wonderstruck as his student stood rooted to the spot in obvious fear, then threw his notebook towards the dog before backing down. A content expression seemed to be assimilating on the canine’s face.
Then it got up on all fours. And started walking slowly towards the book.
Jenkins never knew what came over him. But as far as he knew, the homework belonged to him – it was HIS homework – and no dog was going to take it away from him for the fourth time in a row!
The teacher started running towards the object of contention. And even as a now thoroughly-frightened Jonah looked on, jumped at the book and grabbed it.
The mongrel stopped mid-step. Sat. It had a very annoyed look on its face.
What followed was a blur. Jenkins screamed. Then Jonah screamed. And screamed. And screamed.


Nobody saw Jenkins ever again. The police searched for him far and wide, but even his bones seemed to have vanished from the face of the earth.
And nobody would take Jonah’s word that a mongrel with dirty teeth had eaten his Math teacher.



  1. And you are back!

  2. Nice doggy!

  3. !!!
    it has got to be same guy. our very own morbid firangi
    and the blore dogs didnt eat you after all

  4. I’ll have to use that one next time I have a maths exam – my dog ate my math’s teacher!

  5. Vintage JJ!!! “NO SWEAT” buddy!! 😀

    Great to have you back….:-)

    And yes, I am waitin for that call!

  6. guess whos back……….!! JJs back..!!
    haa… but anyway… where did jenkins disappear to?
    and JJ..please call everyman.. he has been sleeping with the phone next to him.

  7. hehe…. i never used to understand when people said horror movies could be laughables too…
    i guess this changes the opinion…!

    anyways good to see you back….

  8. @ 3inOne: Yup, I am. But you please don’t go 🙂

    @ Cats: You think so? That nice doggie just ate a Math teacher 😉

    @ Rama: No, they didn’t. At least not the whole of me. They left a couple of my typing fingers behind. Har har

    @ Rohan: Glad to be of help. Tee!

    @ Everyman: Now now Shain … That “No Sweat” thingy’s gonna haunt me forever. But hey! Nice to know you sleeping next to your phone just for me… Oooh!

    @ Mac: Jenkins … well, he went somewhere the sun don’t shine. ha ha

    @ AB: Good to see you too, man. In fact … it’s good to see all of you again. BEEN MISSING YOU GUYS SO…

  9. Seems like you don’t hate dogs, buy you sure hate math teachers, he, he

  10. Just great to have u back in here man

    🙂 Welcome!!!

  11. Mojo Jojo…like your new pic from Power Puff Girls…it took me a bit but I finally remembered who it was.

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